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LICENSING &
INVESTING

Battomi™ Licensing Opportunities: There are virtually unlimited opportunities to associate your company's fine name with the fast growing line of Battomi™ products and services. Our licensing fees are high, for a good reason: No one else can offer you such exclusive access to the world's Battomi drinkers. Our marketing studies have scientifically shown that Battomi drinkers are loyal to companies that advertise on their Battomi™ supplies.* Contact us to find out how your company can grow along with Battomi™ and Battomi drinkers' bellies!

*Results depend on how many Battomi's a drinker consumes in one sitting. In an average Battomi drinker, brand loyalty dramatically drops off after six or seven Battomi's. Average Battomi's consumed in one sitting is 14.

Battomi™ Investment Opportunites: Do you like what you've seen so far? Like us here at Battomi™ do you say "show me a Battomi drinker and I'll show you a sucker who's dying to part with his cash"? If so, why not join us? Our investment scheme is simple and equitable. The first 10,000 people who contribute any effort or ideas to Battomi receive a 1% ownership stake in Battomi's Beverage Division Class Z stock, which makes up 20% of our equity.

Before investing, you are advised to do the math. "Let's see, they're giving away 1% of 20% of the company 10,000 times. Hummmm...Sounds like a good idea to me."

Battomi™ securities have received the following rating from the US Securities and Exchange Commission: "We have carefully examined Battomi™ and the Battomi™ investment scheme, and we find both to be too stupid even to be prosecuted as the obvious frauds that they are. Anyone who invests even a penny or a moment of time in this crap deserves to be taken to the cleaners, the stupid drunk!"

Trademarks and Copyright: All trademarks used on this site are owned by the Beverage Division of Battomi Oil & Beverage Company, LLC, except that Homer Simpson™ is owned by Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation and New Orleans Jazzfest™ is owned by The New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival & Foundation, Inc. All material on this site is copyright 2006, 2007 Battomi Oil & Beverage Company, LLC, all rights reserved.

Privacy Policy: If you think we have a privacy policy, get your wallet out and go back to Battomi™ Licensing & Investment Opportunities above.

Privacy Policy | Responsible Drinking Statement